To Ask, Or To TOURTURE!
by Jet-The-Stray
Summary: It's Big, It's Bad, and it's.....weird! The Cast Is back for another series of pain and suffering! R&R please!
1. Beginning of MADNESS!

"Yeah! I'm back from my un-announced vacation to Pets-Mart!" D said as he busted through the doors of his studio. "Who's ready for more fanfict....tions...." D looked around his studio and sighed. "Of course" said D, "They probably cleared out as soon as I left...."

"Everyone except meeee~!" shouted a familiar looking idiot wearing an orange mask.

D slapped his forehead with his palm. "I can't believe it.....TOBI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Tobi was grinning widely under his mask as he said "You froze me remember? Lucily you forgot to leave me in the freezer so I thawed out and was able to escape!"

D could feel his animal instincts kick in. His eyes turned a crimson red and his canines grew longer. "**I don't give a crap!**" D growled, "**As long as you're here your gonna help me get all the other idiots back!**"

"YAY!" Tobi squealed. "There's just one thing I want to know..."

"What is it?" D asked, calming down a bit.

"Why did you go to Pets-Mart?"

D's left eye twitched in agitation. "Tobi, that is the most idiotic question you've ever asked me...but if you have to know it's because I'm part canine, now if you'll excuse me I have a gigantic bag of raw steaks to eat." D left Tobi in all his stupid glory dragging a gigantic sack dripping with blood covered steaks.

"Ohhhhhhh....I still don't get it..." said Tobi scratching his head.

As D entered his office and closed the door behind him he got a great idea. "That's it! Since the others aren't here, I'll have the viewers of this Fanfiction bring them back! And I know just how to do it..." said D as he grinned evilly.

D opened up his laptop and began to write.

"Dear Fans,

I Am sorry to say this, but the cast for my new Fan Fiction has ran away (all except that idiot Tobi). But fear not, I have a simple solution. After reading this click the review button down at the bottom of the screen and beg the others back! I like Guilt Trip, it's the easiest way to make this work! So please help us!

Your Friend and Author,

D

P.S. Here is a list of the cast if you guys forgot:

Naruto

Emo Boy (Sasuke)

Sakura

Kiba

Hinata

Shino

The Akatsuki (That means everyone in the Akatsuki!)

Kakashi

Gai

Asuma

Tsunade

Jiriya (perv)

Shikamaru

Chouji

Ino

and anyone else you guys can think of!"

D clicked the send button and sent the letter to a fanfiction on Fanfiction dot net. "There," D said "now let's hope that they reply..." D then yawned and sprawled out on his hammock. "The hammock was a great idea for the office..." He then quickly fell asleep.

Please R&R! If you don't, then the show shant go on! Please! Without the show how am I gonna feed my cat's? Huh? PLEAAAASSEEE!!!!!


	2. So it begins

**To Ask ,Or To TORTURE!!!**

As D lay in his hammock oblivious to the world a couple letters fell from the sky and landed on his face. D batted them off and continued to sleep. Unfortunately for him Tobi burst in.

"D-SAMA!!! TOBI FOUND SOME LETTERS IN THE MAILBOX!!! OPEN THEM OPEN THEM!!!" Squealed Tobi.

D laid there for a couple of minutes trying to figure out a very gruesome way to dispose of Tobi but gave up on the idea. "Alright, alright hold your taters." said D.

Tobi blinked through his one eye hole. "What's a 'tater'?" asked Tobi stupidly.

D just glowered at him. "Never mind..." D opened the letter and scanned over it.

_**AW TOBI UR SO CUTE! *uber huggifies tobi***_

can tobi be me slave for the day? please please please! i beg of u!

and i want KIBA-KUUN

sasuke (i got a fresh batch of peanutbutter...*evil laughs*

hinata, shino, akatsuki, chouji and ino (can chouji eat ino? thanx!) and uh  
GAARA! YAY! I WILL FEED HIM COOKIES AND MAKE HIM MY SLAVE AS WELL! HUZZAH!

CHYEAH! VIKINGS ARE AWESOME!

"Tobi is scared of that lady!!!" Tobi shouted hiding in the corner.

"Yeah well, her name is Vikings Love Ranch, AND she's meh friend/cousin, so you will be her slave for the day!"

Tobi cried as he was dragged to another universe by a walking sandwich. D just blinked a few times before registering what to do next. "Now to get the IDIOTS..." he muttered grumpily to himself as he opened up random voids across the universe.

Out from the voids popped all the Naruto related people, from Jiriya to Akamaru, everyone appeared.

"OW!" cried a familiar blonde ninja as he landed on a giant spike. "What the-?!" he couldn't finish the sentence, for he was bound and gagged by D.

"It's good to see you all again..." D grinned evilly, "It's been how long since I got the urge to write?"

Itachi looked at D and sneered, "It's good to see you as well, your looking well. A bit pale sure but..."

Sasuke and his emoness glared at D, "Can we just get this over with? I need to go and cut my self..."

D just ignored the remark and doused him with peanut butter. Sasuke skrieked and hid in the emo corner. "Now then...." he began, "We all know why you're here so just shut up and do what the reveiwers ask..."

Chouji fidgeted and Ino's mouth dropped to the floor. "HOW IN THE WORLD DOES ONE HUMAN EAT ANOTHER?!" she shrieked.

"It's possible, trust me." D remarked and grinned, his tail swished once then sat back in place.

Chouji then swallowed Ino whole. "I don't feel so good..." Chouji complained.

"Deal with it." D glared.

"Why does she want me?" Kiba asked, totally clueless.

"She's a Kiba fangirl, not that there's anything wrong with that." D answered bleakly.

Gaara twitched, "Cookies...? The last time I ate cookies I blacked out. The next thing I knew I was naked and hanging upsidown from a metal pole with fangirls groping me..." He shivered. "Not a good experience..."

"Well Gaara, if that's the case, then eat sugar free cookies..." D handed him some sugar free cookies and sent him trhough the void to another dimension.

Shikamaru yawned, "What's the next letter say?"

"Well let's see..." D said opening the letter curiously.

It read:

_**Shikamaru  
I dare you to have a battle of wits with Ebisu and get him to confess that he  
reads Jiriaya's books.**_

Sasuke  
I dare you to do some bunge jumping.  
I dare you to set yourself on fire.

Shino  
How would you react if your teammate Hinata died?  
By the way, you are one of my favorite characters next to Shikamaru, Ebisu,  
Ino, Kabuto and several others.  
I dare you to get Naruto in trouble with the hokage.  
I dare you to do something you would never do.  
Can I hug you?

Tsunade  
I dare you to set Jiraya & Gai on fire.

Itachi  
You're pretty cool too.  
I dare you to torment Rock Lee by many means necessary.

Kakashi  
I dare you to burn all of your icha icha paradise or by stuck in a room with  
Richard Simmons.

Sakura & Ino  
I dare the two of you to give each other make-overs.

Chouji  
(hands him chips)  
I dare you to disguise yourself as Gai and get him into trouble with Anko.

HinataI dare you to dress like Temari and profess your love to Naruto to the whole  
world.

Asuma  
I dare you to make Sasuke watch teletubbies for two chapters.

D laughed maniacally, holding his stomach and almost crying. "T-that was from a-a ." he managed to say between chuckles.

Shikamaru sighed, "If that's what it takes..." He shuffled over to Ebisu and asked, "How about we play chess?"

Ebisu's sunglasses gleamed as he responded: "Why, I NEVER back down from a challenge!"

_24 hours later....._

Shikamaru knocked over Ebisu's king for the one-thousand five-hundred and fiftieth time. "Give up, we all know you're a perv..."

Ebisu's jaw dropped.

D was snoring on the king sized bed in the middle of the room, completely oblivious to everyone and everything.

Sasuke 'Hn'ed' and bungee jumped, let's just say he was quiet good at it. "I will not set myself on fire..." He stated rebelliously. He then caught on fire.

Everyone looked at him oddly then noticed D awake and angry. "You will _NOT_ disobey the reviewer's!" He stated angrily. "Those who do, will go into 'The Hole' and you don't want to know what's in there..."

"I would be mortified...." Shino said plainly, "And thank you, yes you may hug me..." Shino then began to crush bugs. "I'm sorry friends..." he whispered sadly. Then he began writing a letter to the hokage. He handed it to Tsunade and walked slowly away.

"A letter from Naruto?" Tsunade blinked. She read the letter and shrieked, "_I'M GONNA KILL THAT BAKA!!!_"

D cocked his head to the side, "What did you write?"

Shino whispered into D's ears and D became horrified. "That's harsh..." he said holding his tail close to him.

Tsunade set Jiriya and Gai on fire. "They were bugging me anyways." She muttered sucking down a bottle of sake.

Chouji then unexpectantly threw Ino up.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Ino cried, "I need a shower!"

D sprayed her with a hose. "There, now go get a makeover..."

Ino grumbled and went over to Sakura who was getting the stuff ready. "K, do your worst billboard-brow."

"Oh, I will..." Sakura replied grinning. She began to powder and plastic surgerate on Ino. When she was finished, Ino looked like Micheal Jackson. Ino cried and ran away, leaving behind a laughing Sakura.

Chouji began eating the chips ravenously. "Fank you!" he said, mouthful. He changed into gai using a henge and walked up to Anko.

"ANKO!" He said impersonating the happy ninja, "WOULD YOU CARE TO TELL ME THE SECRET OF HOW YOU KEEP YOUR CHEST IN GOOD FORM?!"

Anko covered her breats with her arms and fumed. "I-I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!"

Chouji poofed away just as Anko used her shadow snake, grabbing the real guy and pummeling him instead.

Hinata fidgeted, "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-ut..."

Temari grinned. "No prob!" Temari said grinning, "She'll look like a splitting image of me!" she dragged a rather rueful Hinata with her into her room.

_3 hours later..._

When Hinata came out, you couldn't tell which was which. She walked nervously up to the still bound and gagging Naruto. "N-naruto..." she began blushing madly, "I-I want to tell you something..." she finally couldn't take the pressure and blurted: "I LOVE YOU!" and ran away crying.

Naruto blinked cluelessly.

Asuma sighed. "Now that's easy, he LOVE's that show..." he walked up to the still burning Sasuke. "You emo boy. Wanna watch Telletubies?"

Sasuke ran straight for the T.V. "I WAN'T TELLETUBIES!!! I WAN'T THEM NOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!" he threw a tantrum and passed out on the floor.

Kakashi sighed and lit his books on fire. "Richard Simmons can go suck a potato..." He walked away trying not to cry.

D yawned and stretched. He scratched behind his wolf-like ears and read the last letter. "It's from Silver-Wolf-Ninja" He said blankly.

_**The dares:  
Sasuke-baka:I dare you to die your hair neon pink. Then every time someone  
says your name you must quack like a duck and every time someone say's revenge  
or if you do you must try to fly and jump off the closest thing to you. Also  
your and jerk. and do not deserve the friends you have like Sakura and Naruto.**_

Sakura: Dump a bucket of raw sewage on Sasuke-baka.  
Naruto: I dare you to eat as much Ramen you can then do 50 jumping jack I'm  
just wondering if you can do it with out lee: your name sounds like broccoli also no talkie about youth sorry  
other then that your awesome((More awesome then Sasuke at least)) and maybe  
not wear spandex.  
Itachi: your name reminds me if itchy for some reason. Also you must where  
a... WEASEL SUITE hehe I'm evil no?  
Deidara: Please blow sasuke up or give him a cake filled with explosives  
hehe.  
Tobi: you must sing the song that never ends if you finish it you with be a  
really good boy if anyone stops him they'll be hit in the head with a rock.  
Bye everyone Hugs *Tobi* Tobi is a good boy yes!

Sasuke, awake from his nap, unhappily died his emoish hair, bright and glossy pink.

"Good boy Sasuke!" D said laughing as Sasuke quacked angrily, "Now I just hope you don't plot for revenge!" He then had a laughing fit as Sasuke jumped off the nearest thing he could find, which happened to be a ten-foot story building, and broke almost every bone in his body.

Everyone looked at D and muttered psycho under their breath.

Sakura was forced to dump the sewage, resulting in a continuous barf circle around the room.

"_DAMNIT!!!"_ D shouted angrily, "_I JUST HAD THE CARPET CLEANED!!!_"

Naruto began slurping ramen quicker than a squirell could climb a tree. By the time he was finished, there were bowls of ramen scattered all over the place. He tried to do one jumping jack and ended up pulling twenty different muscles. He cried in agony before passing out.

Rock Lee thanked the reveiwer for the complement but began to cry, for hecould not say youth. So he remained silent. He also took off his spandex and but on khakis and a button up shirt. _'I feel so naked...'_ he though weepily.

"No..."

D shrugged, "Sorry, I can't help you there. He's like a freakin' rock..."

Tobi came back from another dimension and hugged D's knees. "OH THANK YOU! TOBI WAS SURE SHE WAS GONNA MAKE TOBI CLEAN OUT HER TOILET WITH A SANDWICH!!!"

D kicked him off his knees and layed down on the floor (which was once again clean). "Get over it an sing,"

Tobi began to sing....horribly...In fact it was so bad, that Gene Simmons's tongue fell out of his mouth (for all who don't know, Gene Simmons was a member of KISS, and he had a really long tongue.).

D kicked him, sending him through another portal back to Vikings Love Ranches's house. "Idiot..." he mumbled before picking up a book and reading.

Deidara was extremely happy. "Thank GOD! Yeah!" Deidara began to make the cake. A few minutes later, he grinned. "It's complete! Un!" he said happily as he gave it to a Sasuke who was in pain.

Sasuke perked up. "Ooooo....what flavor?

Deidara fidgeted..."Death by chocolate?" He ran away.

Sasuke shrugged and as he was about to dig in, the cake blew up, making Sasuke a worthless speck of dust floating in the breeze.

D was laughing histerically, that is until his stomach growled. "Well good times don't last forever." He said sheepishly. "Thank you all wonderful reviewers, please tell your friends! This could get better! Review again too!" his stomach growled again. "And send some food? Chouji ate the rest of the reserves in the fridge. Please send a lot, cause I'm STARVING." D said groaning.

Everyone else in the room sweatdropped.

"We might as well make this a little homey..." Tenten said laying out her weapons.

"That's the spirit!" D said grinning. "Now no one bug me, I've got to go take a nap..." He yawned and walked into his own room to retire for the night.

Please read and reveiw! If you don't I'll blow up Wal-mart! They must pay..oh yes! They will...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!


End file.
